"Planet of Trinity"

When I was a little girl, I remember sitting in a bathtub full of bubbles, talking to my mom about all the things I wanted to be when I grew up. I had a list that was about a mile long, and a few of the items included a fire-woman and an astronaut. I wholeheartedly believed I could and would do anything. The possibilities were endless and I couldn't pick just one.  My mom never discouraged me, she just smiled and nodded enthusiastically, while asking questions that kept me dreaming.

My daughter Trinity is just about 7 years old, and "sugar and spice" is the perfect way to describe her. She has an endless amount of love to give, to go along perfectly with her endless imagination.  At time she can be very dramatic, while she wears her heart on her sleeve. She demands justice in every situation, especially when it comes to her 3 year old brother, who does everything in his power to drive her bananas. 

Although Trinity's imagination is expansive, she's as solid as a rock.  Awhile back Trinity started making her list of everything she wanted to be when she grew up, just as I did at her age. 

So far the list is as follows:

1) A jewel collector     (way to go Trinity)

2) A dress designer   (which she is already very good at by the way)

3) A Singer

4) A Painter

5) A Piano Player

6) A person who discovers planets.... (She wants to discover the "Planet of Trinity" in the Solar System)

7) An Architect   (to design fabric stores, business buildings, stores, houses, apartments and hotels)

I asked Trinity if she wanted to be a mommy, and she said "Nah." I asked her why and she said, "because I don't want to get a shot."  I told her that being a mommy is one of the biggest blessings God's given me, and I think that someday she'll change her mind.

I want all of my kids to experience everything life has to offer.  I will do whatever I can to make sure they have the best life. That doesn't mean just material things, although I want her to have the best that we can provide for her. I love to hear her dreams, and I fully believe that she can do anything she really decides to do, plus so much more. I think as she matures she'll realize that many of the things on her list aren't really her true dreams, and she'll be able to focus in on the ones that are. 

But at what age do we stop dreaming like that? At what age do we stop believing that we can do, be, or have anything?  I'm not talking about your childhood dream to be a rockstar. (although I believe if you're truly called to be a musician, God will make a way for you to touch a lot of lives and have an incredible fulfilled life doing so.) 

At a very young age, I am convinced that God plants seeds inside of each of us. These seeds are the beginning of what God made you for. Maybe it's a heart and passion to help a specific group of people. Maybe it's a passion for Business, and an Entrepreneurial Gift. Maybe it's an overwhelming pull toward a specific purpose that brings you to tears when you think about it. 

Those seeds can be watered and cared for, and allowed to grow into all God has intended for you.  Or maybe they're allowed to grow only so much before they are pulled up like weeds. Maybe you've been told they're not worthwhile, so you've ignored them. But their roots are still there. God doesn't change his mind and he does not make mistakes. You're here for a reason- what did he put inside you're heart? What are you here for? 

I wish we could see through Gods eyes. I wish we could see all that we have access to, and all that is available if we only took hold of it confidently. Significance, Blessing, Abundance, Joy, Hope, and Success in all areas of your life. There's so much more available for you than you can even imagine. Trinity fully expects that her needs will always be met. She knows without question that she will be provided for. Why don't we approach our Heavenly Father the same way? That's what he promised.

If as a parent, I want to give my kids everything they need to have the best life possible, how does God feel about you? You are His child. He loves you just as parents love their kids. He wants you to dream, and He has given you access to everything you need, to fulfill what you're designed for. 

I highly recommend the book "The Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkinson. It will dramatically change your perspective.

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart, I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."    ~Jeremiah 1:5~

One Big, and Two Little Monkeys

It's quite the scene.  I bite my nails and hold my breath as my 3 year old son Ryan dangles by one foot behind Leroy's back.  I gasp as Leroy, Trinity and Ryan body slam each other on the bed, play steam roller and have tackle tickle fights. I think it's a mom thing, but why is it so hard to just let them have fun?  The kids have never gotten hurt while playing with Daddy.  He is always very careful (although it doesn't seem like it) and he's keeping close watch that everyone's safe, but I just can't help it. I sometimes have to just walk away and pray for all of their safety.

We've made conscious decisions and a concentrated effort to teach our kids not to be scared of things unnecessarily.  Our kids aren't scared to talk to new people, because we haven't taught them to be. We have however, told them that it's always a good idea to have a trusted grown-up with them whenever they talk to someone new. Safety is the most important thing, but it's also important that they don't grow up believing that every new person is a threat. We've taught them that certain animals don't have to be scary, but we do need to be wise and careful around them.  I don't want my kids growing up with a phobia of snakes or spiders, just because a grown up told them to feel that way.  There's no reason to instill fear in them that's not necessary. Caution is the key. Teaching them wisdom is key. I want whatever we teach them to be a stepping stone for them to move forward into their future confidently, not in fear of people or things.

In saying this, I'm reminded of a time when Trinity couldn't have been more than 2 yrs old. One day, Leroy decided to take her to the park, and I took the chance to get some other things done. I let the two of them go and have some daddy/daughter time. Leroy came home so excited, because Trinity was brave and fearless, and was climbing the jungle gym by herself with the big kids. I had never let her do that, and in my opinion she was much to small for it. She was only two, so tiny, and she was a princess! I was so glad I wasn't there to see it, because I would have been a nervous wreck.

In typical Leroy fashion, the same scenario unfolded with Ryan when he was about the same age. This time however, I was perched on the park bench 15 feet away, saying "Leroy are you sure he's okay? What if he falls? Don't you think he should go up the stairs instead?"

Ryan was a little hesitant. He hadn't done this before, but Daddy was telling him he could. So, he fearlessly stepped up to the bars, and planted his first foot. He looked back at Daddy, who was not helping him, but was standing closely behind him, just in case. Leroy said "You can do it, go ahead." So Ryan proceeded to take a few steps. Leroy carefully kept watch. As he proceeded up the side of the play area, he slipped a little, and lost his footing. At this point the first thing I wanted to do was jump up and grab him, but Leroy didn't. He walked him through finding where his feet should go, and let him keep going. "Great job Ryan, you can do it, I told you that you could." I watched Leroy beam with pride, right alongside Ryan as he made it to the top without Daddy doing it for him. But even if Daddy didn't physically help him, Daddy was a big part in his success. He probably would not have found the courage to try without Daddy's encouragement. He wouldn't have kept going if Daddy hadn't been right behind him cheering him on, and he may have fallen if he didn't have a coach to guide him. Leroy was probably prouder of him, than he was of himself as he stood at the top of those bars.

I think you know where I'm going with this. What has your Heavenly Father told you to do? What is it that He has for your life? Have you been reluctant? Do you believe in yourself as much as He believes in you? As you place your first foot on that path, He's behind you to encourage, guide and protect you. But He can't do it for you, you have to choose to make that first step. You will not always feel confident through the process. You will need to focus, and listen to the still small voice, that knows you can do it. The same one that told you to begin the journey to start with.  When you stumble, He will guide you back to your feet. He is with you every step of the journey, and He will be so proud when you make it to your destination.

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path."     ~Proverbs 3:5-6~  

F R O G

Call me crazy, but I've noticed that whenever God's about to do something big in our lives, we get pregnant.

Almost like He is growing and forming something inside of us over the course of time, and then it's time for the pain of giving life to it  Maybe it's an idea being developed, a relationship shifting, or a major change in a direction we thought we were going.  The 3 major life shifts that have happened in our 9 1/2 years married, have all happened at the same time we were having our kids.

There I was. Barefoot and enormous, at 8 months pregnant with our first daughter Trinity. At the time, I was still working at a bank a few minutes from our house, but I was eagerly anticipating the start of my maternity leave, only two weeks later. At that time, my husband Leroy was working for an Electrical Contracting Company, and I was hoping that when my maternity leave was done, I wouldn't have to return to work.

It was an average Monday afternoon. I had come home from work, and desperately needed to put my swollen feet up. Leroy was not home yet, but I knew he would be soon.  I had drifted off to sleep, and had been there only a short time, when I heard the front door open. I always knew when Leroy was home because I would hear him parking his big, loud cargo van right next to the house. On this particular day I hadn't heard it.  Leroy came into the bedroom and sat down on the bed. I could tell something was wrong, but Leroy was calm and collected as he told me he'd been let go from his job.

The first thing to rush through my mind of course, was our baby Trinity who was due in just a few weeks. I thought I knew what it meant to trust in the Lord. Being raised in church, I knew all the "right" things to say. Things like "God is my provider, not that job." or "God will never give us more than we can handle." and "When something like this happens, it just means God's going to do something even better!" I wish I could tell you I wasn't scared. I wish I could honestly say that I had "peace that passes all understanding." But at that moment I didn't have anything close to it.

A few weeks later our precious Trinity was born, and God started us on an amazing roller coaster journey that is now our life. Leroy was "kicked out of the nest," and I'm forever grateful to that company for letting him go. I didn't feel like that at the time, but I don't know if he would have ever taken the leap of faith into owning his own business, if it had not been for the push.
Just like the labor pains of having a baby, we were forced to fight through what has now become a great victory. It was a process, but it has given us many amazing blessings.  We now have access to incredible potential in our own company that's growing every day. I praise God that I'm married to a winner who stood up and fought for his family, even after he'd been hit hard. I admire him every day for working hard and just figuring things out. For doing what he doesn't feel like doing, to make a better life for us.

When Trinity came along, we were taught to fully rely on God. We began to learn that He alone could (and would) sustain us.

Fully Rely on God... Lean not on our own understanding. Learn to stop trying to control everything and TRULY let God handle it.
All these things had to be learned before God could trust that we were ready for more. It took us awhile, but after this lesson was painfully learned, we can now trust without any doubt that God will meet our every need, no matter what the situation looks like.

                                                      INTEGRITY ELECTRICAL SERVICES
                                              "Professional, Reliable Service You Can Trust."

~Isaiah 49:23~ "Then you will know that I am the Lord, those who hope in me will not be disappointed."

What's your name?

My son Ryan is 3 years old, and is the mirror image of his dad in so many ways. As far as he's concerned, his Mom (or anyone else for that matter), does not even exist the minute daddy walks in the door.
I might get my feelings hurt if I wasn't so appreciative for the break.... :)

Ryan is a very emotional creature, and goes from extreme love and affection to absolute dramatic upset in a matter of seconds. This happens on a regular basis, and usually over something as simple as a juice spill or his sock being on crooked. You think I'm kidding. When Ryan gets his mind set on something, he's determined, unwavering and will not be distracted. When he is an adult, this might be a good quality. But it creates some stress when it presents itself in a 3 year old.

I will say however, that Daddy has a very calming effect on Ryan. I enjoy sitting and listening to them converse, and one conversation in particular spoke volumes to me.

Ryan was probably about 2 years old, and just starting to talk well. My husband Leroy was asking Ryan who different people were. He would say "Who is that?" while pointing to me. "Mommy" Ryan would reply. "Who am I?" Leroy would say. "Daddy" was the response. Of course all of this took place in the midst of Ryan having his attention on about 3 different things, as 2 year olds usually do. Many times Leroy would have to repeat the question. "Who are you?" No response. He was still little, and just learning a lot of new words. I wondered if he really didn't know how to say his name, or if he was just to interested in what he was doing to answer. "What's your name?" Leroy asked. This time Leroy gave him the answer. "Ryan is your name." "Ryan, yeah." he repeated after his daddy. It was clear that he knew who he was, he just needed a reminder.

God is your Father, what is your name? Who are you? I think we get so caught up with what's going on around us, that we don't stop to remember who we are in Him. If we are His children, what is our inheritance? Who does He say that we are? I think in our spirit we know who, and who's we are, but it's so easily forgotten if we're not focused on what He's saying to us. If we're not listening, is he repeatedly asking us "Who are you?" in your current situations?

All it takes is a reminder from our Heavenly Father that says, "You are mine. You are blessed and highly favored, you are my child and you are forgiven. You are the head and not the tail, you are blessed coming in and going out. Everything your hand touches will be blessed." "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, plans to prosper you and give you hope!" ~Jeremiah 29:11~

Does that change your perspective about who you are?

Bully

It was a warm summer day back in June, and our house was bustling as usual. My 6 year old daughter Trinity was getting ready to go to her first day of Summer Camp, and she could hardly contain herself.  That day, the kids would be visiting the bowling alley, and Trinity would have her first opportunity to be in charge of her own concession stand money.  I gave her $5.00, and listened to her excitedly go over the list of all the things she wanted to buy.  In a typical mom tone I repeatedly told her, "Don't lose that money, Trinity." and "Don't even take it out of your pocket, Trin, no one needs to know you have it!"
As an elementary school student myself, I was picked on an bullied severely, and now as an adult, I realize that my experience as a child has carried over into my parenting style. I was concerned, as I thought about her throughout the day. I hoped she was having fun. I hoped her concession stand experience was all that she hoped it would be. I was excited for her, and a little sad because "my baby is growing up!" I think most moms experience something like this every now and again.
When I picked Trinity up from camp that day, I did not see the bouncing happy little girl I thought I would see. She looked exhausted, and pretty much collapsed into the van with a huff. I asked her how the day had gone and if she had fun, and all I got was "it was fine." I could tell she was not herself, I didn't want to pry, so I waited for her to volunteer some information.
She said almost nothing the entire trip home. When we got inside the house, I asked "what did you get with your money at the snack bar?" And that's when it happened.  First her lip quivered, then her eyes got red and welled up with tears. She was trying so hard to fight them back, but there was no mistaking that they were coming.  Immediately I was concerned, and asked what was wrong? Through tears she said, "I didn't want you to be mad at me, but I thought I'd get in trouble if I didn't share." Now I was confused. "What happened Trinity?" Trinity began to tell me her story through her sobs. "There was a girl named Cameron that was older, *Sniff* and she told me I had to share my snack bar money with her, *sniff sniff* and I thought I would get in trouble if I didn't share, so she ordered french fries for us, *Sniff* and I didn't want french fries, but I didn't want to be bossy. I didn't want to tell you because I thought you'd be mad that I showed Cameron that I had money."  Sniff Sniff....    I asked "Trinity wasn't there money left over?" She replied "Well I think so but when the lady gave the money back, Cameron took it and I didn't want to tattle."
I was so mad I couldn't see straight.  My heart was hurting for this confused little girl. I gave her a big hug, and told her she didn't do anything wrong, and that I wasn't mad at her. I told her we would get back in the van and go to the convenience store so she could pick out a treat. Then I called the school to demand justice..... Which got no results because no one saw what happened, and Trinity had acted happy about the French Fries because she didn't want to get in trouble for not sharing.
I wanted to protect Trinity. I wanted to go talk to Cameron myself, and find her mom to tell her what a rude daughter she was raising. Those of you who know me, know I would never have actually done that. :)  My mind raced with so many thoughts.  It bothered me that my daughter was scared to tell me what happened. My thoughts went back to horrible childhood school memories.
We've been teaching her to share, and in this situation she was confused. How do I tell her "Well Trinity, you don't have to share your money, you should have saved it for yourself."  How contradictory is that to what we're trying to teach her? I don't want her to be untrusting, yet I do want her to be wise. I want her to turn the other cheek in the right situations, yet I don't want her to be walked on.
There's not always a right answer.  I wish I could look back and say, "This is how I should have handled that." I don't know. The truth is there will always be a bully out there, and there won't always be a right way to handle it.
If I were Trinity, and God is my father, what lesson do I learn from this experience? As my Heavenly Father, God sees me the same way I see Trinity.  I was overwhelmed with joy, because of her joy. I was excited for her to experience something new, because I want her to experience all that life has to offer. It broke my heart to see her hurt, yet I knew she would learn a valuable lesson by going through it. It bothered me that she was scared to talk to me about it. I comforted her and told her everything was going to be okay.
Why is God the last one we turn to sometimes when we get beat up in life? When life hits us like a ton of bricks, why do we try to handle it ourselves, acting like God is to busy, doesn't want to handle it or will be mad because we made wrong choices?
I'm learning that God is a faithful, loving Father who is forgiving, caring and wants to protect us. He sees us just like I see my kids, in so many ways.